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Wedding Planning (According to Kate)

May 25, 2011

Step 1: Get engaged.

Step 2: Tell your closest friends. Then put it on facebook. Then everyone on earth will know.

Step 3: Ask fiancee when he’d like to get married. He shrugs. You shrug. “Like next March or something?” “I don’t know. Whatever.”

Step 4: When mother brings up for the second time the idea of giving a teacup as a wedding favor, be glad you are on the phone so she can’t see how confused you are about this. A teacup? Do people still have teacups?

Step 5: Listen to everyone on earth’s complaints about weddings. The bridesmaids get out of hand. There was a cash bar. It’s so formal. You have to address people who aren’t engaged as so and so and guest. So and so’s registry was so dumb so I just got them a spoon. Just elope.

Step 6: When someone asks if you’ve set a date, point out you’ve been engaged for a week.

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